I love the "Holidays".
Especially now that I have a daughter of my own to share all the fun traditions and festivities with on the Holidays, it sure makes them more exciting.
For instance, The Halloween costume this year will be a Bunny Rabbit. All picked out by Bug and complete with carrot. She is super stoked that tomorrow we will paint her little face, slap on some big ears and a tiny tail and hit the Festival at church! Its all she talked about this morning on the way to school.
While Jaden's drive to school was spent talking of spooky costumes and all things Halloween my drive to work was a little different.
First I must state my firm stance on Halloween costumes:
1. Costumes are for children.
2. Slutty costumes are for teens that want to aggravate their parents.
3. Costume parties are for people that belong to exclusive clubs like in that one weird Tom cruise movie before he got super lame after Days of Thunder.
4. Office Halloween parties are always lame and only an excuse for office employees to eat pot luck and slack off while in costume.
Now, my opinions may seem harsh, but I never force them other people...I simply laugh hysterically while I pass other motorists in costume. This morning on my way to work I saw a Evil Witch driving a teal sedan. I saw a strange fairy hauling a mini van complete with ear piece because even 45 year old fairies need to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. I saw a grown man, a grown up man wearing a tin foil hat thing and weird green make up.
People of Stockton I implore you...Stop the madness! Stop the embarrassment! Nobody Really thinks your costumes are awesome! We are all just secretly laughing at you as we sit around the dinner table this evening. Unless you openly laugh and mock as I do.
Again, it is not my wish to force my opinions and anti-costume view on anybody. I just needed to get it off my chest.
Now that it is out there in universe, I can relax and enjoy the beginning of "The Holidays".
(Discalimer: if you are attending an office Halloween party today and are in full costume, and you win a prize for said costume then I want to be the first to congratulate you in your accomplishmebnt today.)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Ode to Mothering.
A Few Sure Fire signs that you need to clear your head…
1. You woke up snuggling the trash bag you were using to clean your filthy house the night before…
2. While in the shower you put face wash in your hair instead of shampoo and wonder why this crappy shampoo has lost its lather only to realize….your an idiot and that’s not shampoo its face cream.
3. You buckle your child into her car seat only to look down and realize you are wearing a brown flat and a flip flop…AND you ask yourself “ will anybody really notice?”
4. The coffee cup you grabbed off the counter was indeed coffee….from a few days ago.
5. You get to work and do the usual…get the access badge pinned on, attach the walkie talkie to your belt loop and put your cell phone in your pocket and you hit the floor running. There’s an issue, you need to reach for your cell phone…..you pull out a purple and blue Disney princess Ariel toy phone, flip it open and THEN realize your call cannot be completed as dialed.
6. And once again, the coffee your co-worker made was indeed tasty….yesterday when it was warm.
This is a true story. No names have been changed to protect the idiot, no dramatizations here….this is a tiny window into the life a real live single mother.
So to all the other hard working single gals raising children with miss- matching pigtails I say ….Bravo. Bravo. I commend you for not wearing sweatpants as part of your “casual” wardrobe. For always checking the review before applying the lipstick while driving and blindly searching the floor of the back seat for a stuffed pig.. For every time you quickly end a conversation with a stay at home mom in the hall way of your daughter’s school by laughing with a smile and walking away so as to not grab the other mother by her shoulders and scream…”Shut up! Don’t you realize there is a world of traffic and office politics that I have to get to! I have meetings I have to pretend to enjoy, people I have to fake smile at and sexist jokes I have to brush off! Outa my way!”
Bravo indeed.
And here is the “stay at home mom” disclaimer:
You are a valuable asset to your family. Those kids are benefitting from your being there. You house is no doubt clean, food is well prepared and laundry is clean. Enjoy the errands you run in the middle of the day. Make time for yourself to relax and don’t dare feel guilty about it! Enjoy every second of it sisters….because it’s a cold cold cruel world out here and I would trade any one of ya in a quick second! Keep on keeping on. When you feel like you can’t take another episode of Wow Wow Wubbzy, think about the others….the others who are at work. Think of us sisters and press forward…Press on and ignore your child when they make annoying faces at you behind your back! You’re a stay at a home mom. You drink coffee whenever you please, you eat lunch no matter the time and you take as long as you need. You fix vacuum cleaners and keep up to date on current events both Noggin and World related. You are mom. Stay at home mom. Hear you roar.
1. You woke up snuggling the trash bag you were using to clean your filthy house the night before…
2. While in the shower you put face wash in your hair instead of shampoo and wonder why this crappy shampoo has lost its lather only to realize….your an idiot and that’s not shampoo its face cream.
3. You buckle your child into her car seat only to look down and realize you are wearing a brown flat and a flip flop…AND you ask yourself “ will anybody really notice?”
4. The coffee cup you grabbed off the counter was indeed coffee….from a few days ago.
5. You get to work and do the usual…get the access badge pinned on, attach the walkie talkie to your belt loop and put your cell phone in your pocket and you hit the floor running. There’s an issue, you need to reach for your cell phone…..you pull out a purple and blue Disney princess Ariel toy phone, flip it open and THEN realize your call cannot be completed as dialed.
6. And once again, the coffee your co-worker made was indeed tasty….yesterday when it was warm.
This is a true story. No names have been changed to protect the idiot, no dramatizations here….this is a tiny window into the life a real live single mother.
So to all the other hard working single gals raising children with miss- matching pigtails I say ….Bravo. Bravo. I commend you for not wearing sweatpants as part of your “casual” wardrobe. For always checking the review before applying the lipstick while driving and blindly searching the floor of the back seat for a stuffed pig.. For every time you quickly end a conversation with a stay at home mom in the hall way of your daughter’s school by laughing with a smile and walking away so as to not grab the other mother by her shoulders and scream…”Shut up! Don’t you realize there is a world of traffic and office politics that I have to get to! I have meetings I have to pretend to enjoy, people I have to fake smile at and sexist jokes I have to brush off! Outa my way!”
Bravo indeed.
And here is the “stay at home mom” disclaimer:
You are a valuable asset to your family. Those kids are benefitting from your being there. You house is no doubt clean, food is well prepared and laundry is clean. Enjoy the errands you run in the middle of the day. Make time for yourself to relax and don’t dare feel guilty about it! Enjoy every second of it sisters….because it’s a cold cold cruel world out here and I would trade any one of ya in a quick second! Keep on keeping on. When you feel like you can’t take another episode of Wow Wow Wubbzy, think about the others….the others who are at work. Think of us sisters and press forward…Press on and ignore your child when they make annoying faces at you behind your back! You’re a stay at a home mom. You drink coffee whenever you please, you eat lunch no matter the time and you take as long as you need. You fix vacuum cleaners and keep up to date on current events both Noggin and World related. You are mom. Stay at home mom. Hear you roar.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Give a Hoot.....dont pollute.
Ah the environment. Mother Natures gift to us all. All she asks is that we take good care of the ozone layer, keep the oceans clean and protect our national forests.
My understanding of Earth and "being green" basically consisted of two policies up until now:
1. Give a hoot and don't pollute.
2. Recycle, reduce and reuse.
My daughter however is probably sorting through the recyclables in the kitchen at her pre-school right now; if she hasn't already chained her tiny self to an old oak tree that the city wants to cut down in efforts to expand the suburbs.
It is true that each of us all have own hearts desires, our own visions and personality traits. All I have to do is look at my daughter to realize this. She has been coming into her own lately and I have had to step back a few steps to give her room to grow.
I want to document this strictly for her benefit. Someday she will come to me wanting advice about my grand kids and I would like to refer to her this post.
Jaden has in intense love of nature. Animals. the life cycle of it all. She understand that the Lion has to eat the antelope, the frogs must eat the bugs and the sun must shine and the rain must come. She is very passionate about animals and the earth and none of it comes by influence from me. We don't recycles we don't reuse and I am not concerned with reducing my carbon footprint.
Yet she is.
The other day I picked Jaden up from school and her teacher let me know she had a great day with the exception of one meltdown. The following is an exact repeat of the conversation between Mrs. Tammy and I .
Mrs Tammy " ummm so today Jaden had to go and have a seat at the table when all the kids came in from recess."
Me" oh really?"
Mrs. Tammy " Yes. There was a wasp outside on the playgrounds earlier and she and some other kids were gathered around it looking at it."
Me " That sounds like Jaden, she loves bugs"
Mrs Tammy" yes I know now. I stepped on the wasp because I didn't want anybody to get stung by the wasp. Jaden screamed at me and went running into the class room crying and yelling so I and to have her sit at the table until she could calm down so that I could talk to her."
Me " Oh my, why was she screaming I wonder? What was she yelling?"
Mrs. Tammy " She said "You just killed one of God's creatures!" and then ran into the class room."
Me " Well Mrs Tammy....you did kill one of God's creatures. Jaden loves bugs and she does believe they are all God's creatures and I can see why she would be upset. It doesn't make it okay though and I will talk with her about it."
Mrs Tammy" I am so sorry, I tired to explain to her how sometimes we have to protect ourselves..."
This went on and on as this is probably the first time a child has been distraught over the death of a wasp.
Its not just the wasp though....
the beta fish, the lady bug from July, the bumble bee from aunties patio back in early September, the moth that got into our bathroom last week to the stray cats that Jaden has named. Jaden has love for them all as God's creatures. She sees people pollute and it's curtains for them.
" Dont be a litter bug you mean person!" is what you will hear if you ever throw something on the ground. Complete strangers, it doesn't matter who you are. Then as the litter bug walks away you can hear Jaden say " If one person litterbugs then all the earth will be covered in trash and the earth is our animals habitats huh mom?" Then I have to play the role of concerned environmentalist. " yes Jaden your right."
See, she knows all about habitats and weather patterns....its crazy! She knows that mommy throws her empty bottle of water into the trash can outside, that bottle will end up stuck in a sea turtles stomach somewhere in China! This is what she told me this morning as I tossed the water bottle into the trash.
Shes a sweetheart. She loves our planet. She likes to wear dresses every day of the week and she thinks that being a "Singing, ballerina fireman" is an actual profession.
My understanding of Earth and "being green" basically consisted of two policies up until now:
1. Give a hoot and don't pollute.
2. Recycle, reduce and reuse.
My daughter however is probably sorting through the recyclables in the kitchen at her pre-school right now; if she hasn't already chained her tiny self to an old oak tree that the city wants to cut down in efforts to expand the suburbs.
It is true that each of us all have own hearts desires, our own visions and personality traits. All I have to do is look at my daughter to realize this. She has been coming into her own lately and I have had to step back a few steps to give her room to grow.
I want to document this strictly for her benefit. Someday she will come to me wanting advice about my grand kids and I would like to refer to her this post.
Jaden has in intense love of nature. Animals. the life cycle of it all. She understand that the Lion has to eat the antelope, the frogs must eat the bugs and the sun must shine and the rain must come. She is very passionate about animals and the earth and none of it comes by influence from me. We don't recycles we don't reuse and I am not concerned with reducing my carbon footprint.
Yet she is.
The other day I picked Jaden up from school and her teacher let me know she had a great day with the exception of one meltdown. The following is an exact repeat of the conversation between Mrs. Tammy and I .
Mrs Tammy " ummm so today Jaden had to go and have a seat at the table when all the kids came in from recess."
Me" oh really?"
Mrs. Tammy " Yes. There was a wasp outside on the playgrounds earlier and she and some other kids were gathered around it looking at it."
Me " That sounds like Jaden, she loves bugs"
Mrs Tammy" yes I know now. I stepped on the wasp because I didn't want anybody to get stung by the wasp. Jaden screamed at me and went running into the class room crying and yelling so I and to have her sit at the table until she could calm down so that I could talk to her."
Me " Oh my, why was she screaming I wonder? What was she yelling?"
Mrs. Tammy " She said "You just killed one of God's creatures!" and then ran into the class room."
Me " Well Mrs Tammy....you did kill one of God's creatures. Jaden loves bugs and she does believe they are all God's creatures and I can see why she would be upset. It doesn't make it okay though and I will talk with her about it."
Mrs Tammy" I am so sorry, I tired to explain to her how sometimes we have to protect ourselves..."
This went on and on as this is probably the first time a child has been distraught over the death of a wasp.
Its not just the wasp though....
the beta fish, the lady bug from July, the bumble bee from aunties patio back in early September, the moth that got into our bathroom last week to the stray cats that Jaden has named. Jaden has love for them all as God's creatures. She sees people pollute and it's curtains for them.
" Dont be a litter bug you mean person!" is what you will hear if you ever throw something on the ground. Complete strangers, it doesn't matter who you are. Then as the litter bug walks away you can hear Jaden say " If one person litterbugs then all the earth will be covered in trash and the earth is our animals habitats huh mom?" Then I have to play the role of concerned environmentalist. " yes Jaden your right."
See, she knows all about habitats and weather patterns....its crazy! She knows that mommy throws her empty bottle of water into the trash can outside, that bottle will end up stuck in a sea turtles stomach somewhere in China! This is what she told me this morning as I tossed the water bottle into the trash.
Shes a sweetheart. She loves our planet. She likes to wear dresses every day of the week and she thinks that being a "Singing, ballerina fireman" is an actual profession.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
mmm Change
Change. Life would be the same without it.
Me, I have a love hate relationship with change. I love the idea of something new and different, uncharted territory. Yet, I hate the process that takes place before the result of change comes into view.
the process of letting go of the old and reaching for the new is necessary for change to ocour though. As 2009 begins to come to its close I am getting a head start on my annual life reflection...what have I learned this year?
the Lord has taught me about the importance of necessity.How this are necessary and how we need certain things in order to attain other things. Let me explain:
I need to have faith if I want a dream to believe in. I need to learn how to love myself before I can really love somebody else. I need to let go of hurts and pains of the past if I want to walk in fullness of joy and receive healing. I need to be separate from this world if I want to truly live for God.
As I have learned these lessons this year the one word, the catch phrase, the banner of this year for me would be "Necessary".
I moved to Stockton,CA in August of 2006 with no promises of a better life, not assurance that things would be okay, no real plans. Just me and my tiny bug Jaden. The first lesson I learned upon my arrival was how to step out in faith. I learned how fear is all part of the process of letting go of the natural world and reaching out for the supernatural. I learned that as soon as you grasp faith, fear immediately leaves. The act or reaching is necessary though, the stepping out into unknown.
I also learned how to be a true cheerful giver. As a single mom who started out on welfare and WIC this was hard to learn. I would give reluctantly. I learned that if you give reluctantly then you might as well not give at all because in your heart you are still robbing God. Its not the money He is after, its the condition of you heart towards him that he desires to see completely trusting in Him alone. I used to wish I had money to buy things and have what otter people have, I am being honest. Today I wish I had money to pay for the Lords Gym employees in full, to get teenagers on missions trips or to pay for their camp scholarships. As a single mom who no longer requires assistance from Welfare and WIC, I understand now that the Kingdom of God doesn't advance on things of this earth but on the hearts that are moved while on earth. The years of paycheck to paycheck are necessary, the going without, its all necessary for me. it has taught me how to be a good Stewart in my finances and how to really appreciate the life I have instead of wanting somebody else's life. And my cupboards are always full.
Later on in 2007 I learned how to heal. I learned how bad wounds can hurt before they heal over and become a scar. its not an overnight process, its a long drawn out and agonizing thing for some. but the peace of God and rest in Him is where we can renew our strength through the pain of healing. Healing is tuff though,especially if we fight it. I fought emotional healing for years, it was like trying to run a mile with a broken leg. The pain and rest in the Lord however was so necessary for the healing.
In 2008 I began to learn how amazing God is and how absolutely nothing is impossible in God. How mountains will move out of your way when God's will is in play. I learned about physical healing and how miracles are not just stories in the Old Testament. Just as our faith is active so is the Living word of God and its there for us each day to call on, to hold God to in our scary times when we don't understand things.
I learned how Jaden and I being "on our own" didn't mean that were "alone" it meant that we were simply in waiting for the perfect man for our lives. Something I have learned this year is how beauty lie in our relationship with God and not in our outside appearances. How, I am worth waiting on. I learned that being a mother means sacrifice, but how the sacrifice is really a blessing in disguise.
All in all God has changed my life in the most amazing way. I am so grateful to Him. I have salvation, freedom, peace, promises and a future. I look forward to 2010 because I know I will only continue to learn and grow. I am excited at what God has done in me and I cant wait for the next opportunity to move and be changed.
Me, I have a love hate relationship with change. I love the idea of something new and different, uncharted territory. Yet, I hate the process that takes place before the result of change comes into view.
the process of letting go of the old and reaching for the new is necessary for change to ocour though. As 2009 begins to come to its close I am getting a head start on my annual life reflection...what have I learned this year?
the Lord has taught me about the importance of necessity.How this are necessary and how we need certain things in order to attain other things. Let me explain:
I need to have faith if I want a dream to believe in. I need to learn how to love myself before I can really love somebody else. I need to let go of hurts and pains of the past if I want to walk in fullness of joy and receive healing. I need to be separate from this world if I want to truly live for God.
As I have learned these lessons this year the one word, the catch phrase, the banner of this year for me would be "Necessary".
I moved to Stockton,CA in August of 2006 with no promises of a better life, not assurance that things would be okay, no real plans. Just me and my tiny bug Jaden. The first lesson I learned upon my arrival was how to step out in faith. I learned how fear is all part of the process of letting go of the natural world and reaching out for the supernatural. I learned that as soon as you grasp faith, fear immediately leaves. The act or reaching is necessary though, the stepping out into unknown.
I also learned how to be a true cheerful giver. As a single mom who started out on welfare and WIC this was hard to learn. I would give reluctantly. I learned that if you give reluctantly then you might as well not give at all because in your heart you are still robbing God. Its not the money He is after, its the condition of you heart towards him that he desires to see completely trusting in Him alone. I used to wish I had money to buy things and have what otter people have, I am being honest. Today I wish I had money to pay for the Lords Gym employees in full, to get teenagers on missions trips or to pay for their camp scholarships. As a single mom who no longer requires assistance from Welfare and WIC, I understand now that the Kingdom of God doesn't advance on things of this earth but on the hearts that are moved while on earth. The years of paycheck to paycheck are necessary, the going without, its all necessary for me. it has taught me how to be a good Stewart in my finances and how to really appreciate the life I have instead of wanting somebody else's life. And my cupboards are always full.
Later on in 2007 I learned how to heal. I learned how bad wounds can hurt before they heal over and become a scar. its not an overnight process, its a long drawn out and agonizing thing for some. but the peace of God and rest in Him is where we can renew our strength through the pain of healing. Healing is tuff though,especially if we fight it. I fought emotional healing for years, it was like trying to run a mile with a broken leg. The pain and rest in the Lord however was so necessary for the healing.
In 2008 I began to learn how amazing God is and how absolutely nothing is impossible in God. How mountains will move out of your way when God's will is in play. I learned about physical healing and how miracles are not just stories in the Old Testament. Just as our faith is active so is the Living word of God and its there for us each day to call on, to hold God to in our scary times when we don't understand things.
I learned how Jaden and I being "on our own" didn't mean that were "alone" it meant that we were simply in waiting for the perfect man for our lives. Something I have learned this year is how beauty lie in our relationship with God and not in our outside appearances. How, I am worth waiting on. I learned that being a mother means sacrifice, but how the sacrifice is really a blessing in disguise.
All in all God has changed my life in the most amazing way. I am so grateful to Him. I have salvation, freedom, peace, promises and a future. I look forward to 2010 because I know I will only continue to learn and grow. I am excited at what God has done in me and I cant wait for the next opportunity to move and be changed.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I Wonder....
I am a 28 year old women. Single mom. I like to think I am intelligent. By the grace of God I have created a stable career for myself. I have an awesome sense of humor. I like to think I am a contributing member of society. But, sometimes I wonder.....
When I am at the grocery store and I see a lady wearing a hospital mask that covered her mouth I wonder; is she keeping it in or keeping it out?
When I am at the park and I see a grown human being pull out a tiny baggie and pick up dog poop I wonder; who is the real master in the relationship?
When I am driving and I see somebody pick their nose I wonder; why no tissue? and Where do they put it if they have no tissue? and...does their spouse know about their nose picking? and if so, does the spouse accept this as a character flaw? How does the spouse look at him and feel attraction? Do they wash their hands before supper?
When I am out and about town and see a couple that consist of one very strange person and one unpleasant person I wonder; Where am I missing the mark? what is it that I am not doing right? here these two unpleasantly strange folk have found love and yet I , who shower daily, who is awesome, am still single?
When I see a sign that reads "made fresh daily" I wonder; does this mean they make it fresh each day or they make it fresh during the day time? And, why not just be more specific. We are all on pins and needles wondering exactly how fresh this thing that is made daily is.
When I see somebody Park in a parking spot designated for persons that hold the "disabled" placard, yet said person gets out of the car and skips t their destination I wonder; what would their mother say? What would other disabled folk say? and...what would happen if I asked this person " excuses me, does being a big faker qualify you for the disabled placard?"
These are thoughts that pass through my mind. I have kept them bottles inside all theses years and I feel its time I just get honest. there it is people. I'm a weirdo.
Also, at my workplace we have an old security guard who constantly sleeps on the job. I find new ways to startle him awake each day...and then right as he wakes up I just walk past him normal as if I hadn't heard any loud noises or jolted his chair at all.
Some might say that its mean. I say its the little pleasures in life that keep each day interesting.
This has been a random post brought to you by me, Jess.
When I am at the grocery store and I see a lady wearing a hospital mask that covered her mouth I wonder; is she keeping it in or keeping it out?
When I am at the park and I see a grown human being pull out a tiny baggie and pick up dog poop I wonder; who is the real master in the relationship?
When I am driving and I see somebody pick their nose I wonder; why no tissue? and Where do they put it if they have no tissue? and...does their spouse know about their nose picking? and if so, does the spouse accept this as a character flaw? How does the spouse look at him and feel attraction? Do they wash their hands before supper?
When I am out and about town and see a couple that consist of one very strange person and one unpleasant person I wonder; Where am I missing the mark? what is it that I am not doing right? here these two unpleasantly strange folk have found love and yet I , who shower daily, who is awesome, am still single?
When I see a sign that reads "made fresh daily" I wonder; does this mean they make it fresh each day or they make it fresh during the day time? And, why not just be more specific. We are all on pins and needles wondering exactly how fresh this thing that is made daily is.
When I see somebody Park in a parking spot designated for persons that hold the "disabled" placard, yet said person gets out of the car and skips t their destination I wonder; what would their mother say? What would other disabled folk say? and...what would happen if I asked this person " excuses me, does being a big faker qualify you for the disabled placard?"
These are thoughts that pass through my mind. I have kept them bottles inside all theses years and I feel its time I just get honest. there it is people. I'm a weirdo.
Also, at my workplace we have an old security guard who constantly sleeps on the job. I find new ways to startle him awake each day...and then right as he wakes up I just walk past him normal as if I hadn't heard any loud noises or jolted his chair at all.
Some might say that its mean. I say its the little pleasures in life that keep each day interesting.
This has been a random post brought to you by me, Jess.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Honesty
One of the biggest lessons in life that I have learned is absolute honesty.
I find it easy to be honest with other people, living the life I used to and then giving it all to Christ makes me want to be an open book. I want people to know all the details about me if it touches their heart or relates to their circumstances. As I grow and learn more of the Lord I realize that Honesty is so necessary.
Honesty before God. Honesty with ourselves. honesty.
Jaden has been learning about the values of honesty lately as well. this morning she was making up some off the wall lie about how a cookie grew legs, walked off of the kitchen counter and jumped into her mouth and how "she didn't even touch it". She was about midway through her lie when she stopped and put head down and said..."Okay I was lying mom. God knows and you know it huh?" She apologized for eating the cookie and went about her day.
with me, something I have learned recently is Honesty before God. Of course God knows all the ins and outs of a mans soul. Of course he knows every step before we even move.
Then why do so many Christians come into the presence of God and try to hide their struggles and resentments?
"don't look at me in that tone of voice" its true.
The Lord tells us in his word that before we come to him, if we harbor any resentment or conflict in our hearts towards another that we are to leave our offering at the alter and go to that person and be reconciled. After the reconciliation only, are we to come before our Lord with the sacrifice.
Now of course today we don't walk up to the alter carrying a lamb or goat but we do bring the sacrifice of praise and worship. We do whiteness, we are salt and light.
I can honestly say that I have been set free form something I like to call the " Adam and Eve Complex"...they hid in the garden as if God didn't know the scoop before hand. I had to tell the Lord that I was sorry for trying to hide my own selfish earthly desires from him. The great thing about this is that my God forgives and renews. After I gave it all up and was honest with myself and God,I noticed how truly free I was to worship Him and to praise without any thing hindering his amazing presence.
Honesty is necessary for healing, for progress, for reconciliation and for a good life basically. Honesty is really the best policy.
So, if this makes any kind of sense to anybody then I encourage you to get before the Lord and search your heart. Are you being honest with God today? Are you being honest with yourself?
I find it easy to be honest with other people, living the life I used to and then giving it all to Christ makes me want to be an open book. I want people to know all the details about me if it touches their heart or relates to their circumstances. As I grow and learn more of the Lord I realize that Honesty is so necessary.
Honesty before God. Honesty with ourselves. honesty.
Jaden has been learning about the values of honesty lately as well. this morning she was making up some off the wall lie about how a cookie grew legs, walked off of the kitchen counter and jumped into her mouth and how "she didn't even touch it". She was about midway through her lie when she stopped and put head down and said..."Okay I was lying mom. God knows and you know it huh?" She apologized for eating the cookie and went about her day.
with me, something I have learned recently is Honesty before God. Of course God knows all the ins and outs of a mans soul. Of course he knows every step before we even move.
Then why do so many Christians come into the presence of God and try to hide their struggles and resentments?
"don't look at me in that tone of voice" its true.
The Lord tells us in his word that before we come to him, if we harbor any resentment or conflict in our hearts towards another that we are to leave our offering at the alter and go to that person and be reconciled. After the reconciliation only, are we to come before our Lord with the sacrifice.
Now of course today we don't walk up to the alter carrying a lamb or goat but we do bring the sacrifice of praise and worship. We do whiteness, we are salt and light.
I can honestly say that I have been set free form something I like to call the " Adam and Eve Complex"...they hid in the garden as if God didn't know the scoop before hand. I had to tell the Lord that I was sorry for trying to hide my own selfish earthly desires from him. The great thing about this is that my God forgives and renews. After I gave it all up and was honest with myself and God,I noticed how truly free I was to worship Him and to praise without any thing hindering his amazing presence.
Honesty is necessary for healing, for progress, for reconciliation and for a good life basically. Honesty is really the best policy.
So, if this makes any kind of sense to anybody then I encourage you to get before the Lord and search your heart. Are you being honest with God today? Are you being honest with yourself?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Live unto the Lord
You blink your eyes a few times and take in a deep breath. You are now in eternity. That first breath here was your last on earth. Your eyes are open here as soon as they close on earth. It happens that fast. Sweet relief for some. Absolute terror that never ends for others.
I think of my grandma Bonnie. She loved the Lord so much and never wavered in her Faith. I can only imagine the joy she experienced when she took that first breath in eternity. The first time she looked at the face of her Jesus. Man, can you imagine?
Then I think about my grandpa Larkin and how I know beyond all doubt that he is in Heaven cheering for us kids down here. I know because even though it was delayed, eventually through seeing the love walk of his oldest granddaughter, he saw the love of Christ and accepted Him.
What a peace for the Believer in Jesus. What a future and a hope we have. What a peace we can rest in when we lose those who we love and miss, knowing we will see them again someday.
I think about the Millions of people that do not even know the name of Jesus let alone of His saving grace. Where is their comfort when they lose a loved one? Where does the peace come from if any comes at all? What is their future and hope?
Today I learned that a very well respected co-worker has passed into eternity. He went to sleep and never woke up; here. As I talked about it with two of my co-workers who were extremely close to this man we went rounds and rounds about the caliber of this man. We spoke of how he made you feel like family whether you knew him a minute or lifetime. How he was a hard working man, a straight forward stand up kind of guy. He will be so dearly missed by so many.
I don’t know the condition of this man’s heart toward my Lord. I couldn’t tell you where his spirit spends eternity if you asked me. I wonder though.
I do know that the only way to Heaven is through the blood of Jesus and accepting the cross as our freedom. I know that we don’t enter the Kingdom of heaven for any other reason than receiving Christ in our hearts and serving him. It’s not by our good deeds, relationships or good intentions.
I do know that I want to devote the remainder of my life to telling as many people about eternity without a savior though. I don’t want to be so consumed in my own life anymore. I want to be consumed by the Will of God. I want to tell as many people that I can about the Lord and about how to truly reach heaven.
The reality is that we only live by the grace and mercy of god. Life is a fragile thing and it is only authorized by the Lord. Each second, each minute, each day an absolute blessing and gift. I want to make the most of this life. I imagine we all do.
Maybe this came to me simply because of circumstances, due to the loss of this one man. I think sometimes it is so easy to understand that when another believer passes through to heaven they wouldn’t come back for anything. But, perhaps my new perspective comes from questioning this man’s passing. Is he at peace with our Lord or does he beg for one last chance to go back and do it all again?
Whatever the reason, I am moved to be more than I am today. To reach more people. To live each moment of my life as a blessing unto the Lord. I don’t want to be a comfortable Christian any more. I don’t and I won’t let people pass by my life and not know that grace and mercy of the Father who loves and saves.
I encourage fellow believers to look around today at the ones we know that don’t know our Lord. Let’s pray for them, let’s reach them. And let’s give our best while we are here. Let’s truly live our lives as unto the Lord.
I think of my grandma Bonnie. She loved the Lord so much and never wavered in her Faith. I can only imagine the joy she experienced when she took that first breath in eternity. The first time she looked at the face of her Jesus. Man, can you imagine?
Then I think about my grandpa Larkin and how I know beyond all doubt that he is in Heaven cheering for us kids down here. I know because even though it was delayed, eventually through seeing the love walk of his oldest granddaughter, he saw the love of Christ and accepted Him.
What a peace for the Believer in Jesus. What a future and a hope we have. What a peace we can rest in when we lose those who we love and miss, knowing we will see them again someday.
I think about the Millions of people that do not even know the name of Jesus let alone of His saving grace. Where is their comfort when they lose a loved one? Where does the peace come from if any comes at all? What is their future and hope?
Today I learned that a very well respected co-worker has passed into eternity. He went to sleep and never woke up; here. As I talked about it with two of my co-workers who were extremely close to this man we went rounds and rounds about the caliber of this man. We spoke of how he made you feel like family whether you knew him a minute or lifetime. How he was a hard working man, a straight forward stand up kind of guy. He will be so dearly missed by so many.
I don’t know the condition of this man’s heart toward my Lord. I couldn’t tell you where his spirit spends eternity if you asked me. I wonder though.
I do know that the only way to Heaven is through the blood of Jesus and accepting the cross as our freedom. I know that we don’t enter the Kingdom of heaven for any other reason than receiving Christ in our hearts and serving him. It’s not by our good deeds, relationships or good intentions.
I do know that I want to devote the remainder of my life to telling as many people about eternity without a savior though. I don’t want to be so consumed in my own life anymore. I want to be consumed by the Will of God. I want to tell as many people that I can about the Lord and about how to truly reach heaven.
The reality is that we only live by the grace and mercy of god. Life is a fragile thing and it is only authorized by the Lord. Each second, each minute, each day an absolute blessing and gift. I want to make the most of this life. I imagine we all do.
Maybe this came to me simply because of circumstances, due to the loss of this one man. I think sometimes it is so easy to understand that when another believer passes through to heaven they wouldn’t come back for anything. But, perhaps my new perspective comes from questioning this man’s passing. Is he at peace with our Lord or does he beg for one last chance to go back and do it all again?
Whatever the reason, I am moved to be more than I am today. To reach more people. To live each moment of my life as a blessing unto the Lord. I don’t want to be a comfortable Christian any more. I don’t and I won’t let people pass by my life and not know that grace and mercy of the Father who loves and saves.
I encourage fellow believers to look around today at the ones we know that don’t know our Lord. Let’s pray for them, let’s reach them. And let’s give our best while we are here. Let’s truly live our lives as unto the Lord.
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