My Dependence is on Him

Last night I went to sleep at 7:30pm. I was exhausted.This week has been the follow up to a rough previous week. Last week I thought, "I just need to get through this week and I will be okay again." This week I find myself saying " I just need to get through this week and then next week will be easier." As this day goes on I can see the forecast for the next week already looming and approaching quickly.

My Dependence is on Him. It has to be, otherwise I would fail myself and my daughter in some way I am sure of it. My dependence is on Him.

I have been working at home in addition to my work in the office. Every now and again I take a laptop home to keep caught up on things. Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday I have been up until the late hours of the night working. I go to sleep and then wake up remembering one more thing I need to do and I do it. But mostly I am putting on a couple pots of coffee and knocking it out. So last night I slept with my bug snuggled next to me at 7:30pm.

My Dependence is on Him. It has to be, otherwise I would crack by now under the enormous pressure I have been experiencing.

Pressure I put on myself, pressure to be on top of every little thing at work, Pressure to keep up with the other moms at Jadens school. Valentines are due tomorrow as are snacks for the party they are having at 2pm that I wont get to be apart of because I have to work. Correction, I will get there when the party is over. Pressure to be in shape and keep working out everyday. Pressure to be a mom and a Dad for who knows how long. Pressure to budget my finances, clean the dirty kitchen, do the laundry. Pressure to be a super awesome mom all the while. Pressure is all I feel today. Pressure is all I ever feel anymore.

My dependence is on Him. I t has to be. Otherwise I would have carried this pressure all day instead of giving it God this morning in prayer.

I depend on God. I never used to. I used to depend on my own abilities and strengths. The downside to that was that I also fell back into my own weaknesses. Not anymore.
Since I have really given my heart to the Lord I find myself calling on Him before I take things out of His hands and back into mine. I can't hold this pressure on my shoulders today but He can so He took it. Tomorrow maybe I wont feel this way but I know that no matter what, I depend on Him.

I can do all things in Christ where my strength is. I can do all things because He carries the burden, the weight, the pressure. It is amazing what a regular person is able to when the worry, pressures and burdens are absent from the situation.

My Dependence is on Him. I like that. For the first time ever, I run to God instead of ignoring Him and dealing with things on my own. I truly Depend on Him. That's awesome.

I know everybody feels pressures and has bad days, but how awesome is God that we can depend on Him to carry the load? How awesome is it that we don't have to be stressed or tired if we don't want to be? Man I love that!
Wings of Eagles He promises us. Once Eagles strive and strain to get in the sky they just soar. They stop doing all the work and they let the environment around them be what carries them. they no longer fly against wind they use the wind to rest and soar.
I like that promise. I want to use my environment today to Soar instead of working against it.

Just wanted to share that today is all. It made me feel so assured today to realize that I depend on Him. I wouldn't want to depend on anybody else.