For many people, the Holidays mean many different things, but for most of us it symbolizes the night of our Saviors birth.
King of the Universe born in a stable to a virgin mother. How miraculous is that? God made the impossible entrance and an even more impossible exit. And he did it all without question.
I have been thinking a lot about the life that surrounded God while he was here on earth. I have always wished I was born in the time that Jesus walked the earth. Even thinking of it now I get a little breathless, just think what his voice must have sounded like…no doubt his voice was strong and commanded attention. To have his actual hands on your head while he prayed or just to be near him in a crowd…. No matter what, he carried more authority in his voice than any one person on the earth today.
The Savior of the world. Born in a stable. Lay in a manger. Hunted, persecuted, and murdered by this world even though he was as innocent of sin at his death as he was at his birth.
It is easy to focus on the death and resurrection of Christ because we all know that by his blood we are healed and all is forgiven. As humans I think we have a need to hold on most to that promise that God not only forgives and forgets but that he will someday embrace us in the most amazing way that you and I cannot even begin to imagine. Of course Gods promises came with the price of innocent blood shed. Blood shed and death that was only made possible by the pains of labor and birth into a human world.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I was in need of perspective today and I got it now. When compared to the birth of my savior, nothing really matters enough to worry about. When we are in the hands of a God who rescues and restores things according to his ability I will have no fear for God is with me.
By remaining in God we maintain access to his abilities instead of our own.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
School Days
My Little bug is the toast of her class these days! When I go to pick her up it seriously takes like forever because she must hug all her pals....I thought I would show some pictures I took yesterday at her school to show you just half of the kids she hangs with. This group is the four year old group.
The group picture above are her Friends starting from the left: Raven, Jenica with the red hair in back, Jaden of course, Shannon, Ryan, and Zaria.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
It's a new Day
"It's a new day mom." Jaden says as we slowly walk down the stairs from our apartment.
Jaden has the most amazing way of seeing a movie or show one time and then using phrases and lines from the movie in her everyday life. The line about it being a new day is from a cute cartoon movie titled "Chicken Little". We all remember the book about Chicken Little right? Freaked out chicken running around like crazy in a big ole heap all becasue an acorn fell off a tree and hit him in the head. I remember reading the book as a youngster and thinking how silly this chicken was. To this day when people get all freaked out I refer to them as chicken little. I actually have a co-worker that I only refer to as chicken little because of his over the top panicky nature.
In the movie, Chicken Little's dad does his best to encourage the Little chicken after his massive acorn panic attack has brought on nothing but embarrassment. This confused and humiliated chicken has to start a new school year with the shame of the acorn incident over his head. His dad says "Its a new day son." All through the movie Chicken Little tells himself "its a new day" to encourage himself.
Of course now Jaden uses this phrase in context as we take our 15 minute trip from the front door to the car.
To her though, "its a new day mom". She was encouraging me. And herself. How sweat. When you stop to think about it, she needs that encouragement each day. We all do.
I cant imagine the every day struggles that present themselves to a three year old. Their whole world is so much bigger than ours. Jaden has to go to school and be part of a group of kids. Bullies, teachers that may only see half of an argument and not know who started it, snack time...who do you sit with? Nap time...maybe your not sleepy but you have to lay quietly anyhow. Or maybe your blanket doesn't smell like home anymore because its late in the week and the smell has worn off.
The playground. We all remember those days if we stop and think real hard.
Jaden is entering a new age. A new school age. Clicks and bullies begin to take form. Teasing and defiance. How does she make her way in all this?
"It's a new day mom." That's how she does it. My little buggie. She needs encouragement every morning now more than ever.
She is doing so good. I think I am the chicken Little. I don't like to hear that Monica took Jadens hello kitty hair clip or that Lauren didn't want to sit at her table at snack time. It breaks my heart to hear it. On the other hand I hear all about her new friends Jenica and Aurora and how they played butterflies at recess under the big tree. Life is full of its highs and lows and I guess from the minute we are born we start experiencing them.
To anybody who thinks they are having a rough day, stop and think about all the little ones out there growing up and learning about life today. Think of the times ahead of them and do your part to be a positive and encouraging piece of their life. Anyway you can.
Jaden has the most amazing way of seeing a movie or show one time and then using phrases and lines from the movie in her everyday life. The line about it being a new day is from a cute cartoon movie titled "Chicken Little". We all remember the book about Chicken Little right? Freaked out chicken running around like crazy in a big ole heap all becasue an acorn fell off a tree and hit him in the head. I remember reading the book as a youngster and thinking how silly this chicken was. To this day when people get all freaked out I refer to them as chicken little. I actually have a co-worker that I only refer to as chicken little because of his over the top panicky nature.
In the movie, Chicken Little's dad does his best to encourage the Little chicken after his massive acorn panic attack has brought on nothing but embarrassment. This confused and humiliated chicken has to start a new school year with the shame of the acorn incident over his head. His dad says "Its a new day son." All through the movie Chicken Little tells himself "its a new day" to encourage himself.
Of course now Jaden uses this phrase in context as we take our 15 minute trip from the front door to the car.
To her though, "its a new day mom". She was encouraging me. And herself. How sweat. When you stop to think about it, she needs that encouragement each day. We all do.
I cant imagine the every day struggles that present themselves to a three year old. Their whole world is so much bigger than ours. Jaden has to go to school and be part of a group of kids. Bullies, teachers that may only see half of an argument and not know who started it, snack time...who do you sit with? Nap time...maybe your not sleepy but you have to lay quietly anyhow. Or maybe your blanket doesn't smell like home anymore because its late in the week and the smell has worn off.
The playground. We all remember those days if we stop and think real hard.
Jaden is entering a new age. A new school age. Clicks and bullies begin to take form. Teasing and defiance. How does she make her way in all this?
"It's a new day mom." That's how she does it. My little buggie. She needs encouragement every morning now more than ever.
She is doing so good. I think I am the chicken Little. I don't like to hear that Monica took Jadens hello kitty hair clip or that Lauren didn't want to sit at her table at snack time. It breaks my heart to hear it. On the other hand I hear all about her new friends Jenica and Aurora and how they played butterflies at recess under the big tree. Life is full of its highs and lows and I guess from the minute we are born we start experiencing them.
To anybody who thinks they are having a rough day, stop and think about all the little ones out there growing up and learning about life today. Think of the times ahead of them and do your part to be a positive and encouraging piece of their life. Anyway you can.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
What's the hurry Mom?
Okay, so Jaden. She is a peach.
She is also a snail when it comes to getting out the door.
This girl takes soooo long to do anything. Follow me into this morning...
4:20am alarm clock goes off.I get up and wish it were Saturday.
I work out. Yes, I work out. 20 minutes of pain and agony that I hate every morning but am so glad I did when its all said and done.
Then I shower.
Here is where the fun begins.
I wake up Jaden around 5:00am. So, I go rub her little back that has crept into my bed as per usual and say in a soothing voice"Jaden its time wake up the sunshine."
Nothing.
So I go and put on the tea pot for my morning constitutional tea and news.
After the tea whistles I go in again."Jaden time to get up sweetie."
Still nothing. At this point I double check her nose to make sure she is still alive as she is a heavy sleeper.Shes breathing good. Good.
"WAKE UP JADEN!"
nothing.
Amazed I stand there next to my bed. Full dressed, hair in rollers, make up on. Only thing slowing me down now is a 42 pound morning sloth.
I pull the covers down. She pulls them up, rolls over and the butt is as high in the air as it can be.
I pull the covers down again and tickle her.
She did not like this. She sat straight up and in the most serious voice says to me
"Mooooom, what is the hurry?! Don't you see I am trying to sleep. I am still tired from my dreaming stories."
With that she lays back down and starts to nestle into her "cozy spot" as we call it.
Well Finally I got her up and managed to feed her, dress, her and do something that resembled a braid in her hair. Did we get out the door on time?
Nope.
When I was running to the car did she follow in haste?
Nope.Just scooting along picking flowers.(picking flowers is Jadens M.O, she is notorious for picking Flowers from any garden, any time at anyplace. Grave stones, restaurants, other peoples houses, she has no fear. She will take the flowers.)
Anyhow. I wish I could live in her mind for a while. No deadlines, no reason to rush. Just take my sweet time and pick the flowers.
She is also a snail when it comes to getting out the door.
This girl takes soooo long to do anything. Follow me into this morning...
4:20am alarm clock goes off.I get up and wish it were Saturday.
I work out. Yes, I work out. 20 minutes of pain and agony that I hate every morning but am so glad I did when its all said and done.
Then I shower.
Here is where the fun begins.
I wake up Jaden around 5:00am. So, I go rub her little back that has crept into my bed as per usual and say in a soothing voice"Jaden its time wake up the sunshine."
Nothing.
So I go and put on the tea pot for my morning constitutional tea and news.
After the tea whistles I go in again."Jaden time to get up sweetie."
Still nothing. At this point I double check her nose to make sure she is still alive as she is a heavy sleeper.Shes breathing good. Good.
"WAKE UP JADEN!"
nothing.
Amazed I stand there next to my bed. Full dressed, hair in rollers, make up on. Only thing slowing me down now is a 42 pound morning sloth.
I pull the covers down. She pulls them up, rolls over and the butt is as high in the air as it can be.
I pull the covers down again and tickle her.
She did not like this. She sat straight up and in the most serious voice says to me
"Mooooom, what is the hurry?! Don't you see I am trying to sleep. I am still tired from my dreaming stories."
With that she lays back down and starts to nestle into her "cozy spot" as we call it.
Well Finally I got her up and managed to feed her, dress, her and do something that resembled a braid in her hair. Did we get out the door on time?
Nope.
When I was running to the car did she follow in haste?
Nope.Just scooting along picking flowers.(picking flowers is Jadens M.O, she is notorious for picking Flowers from any garden, any time at anyplace. Grave stones, restaurants, other peoples houses, she has no fear. She will take the flowers.)
Anyhow. I wish I could live in her mind for a while. No deadlines, no reason to rush. Just take my sweet time and pick the flowers.
God is so Good
This is a song tha really speaks to my heart anytime I hear it. Its the top video in the bar to the right.
I justt wanted to share it with everybody. Lately I have been searching for so many things and this song just reminds me that I dont need to search very hard. I dont need to put so much pressure on myslef because I am in God's hands.We are all in His hands.
Tenth Avenue North - By Your SideFrom the album Over And Underneath
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face Just don't turn awayWhy are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child, Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
Chorus:
Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands, at my side They swallowed the grave, on that night
When I drank the world's sin So I could carry you in And give you life
I justt wanted to share it with everybody. Lately I have been searching for so many things and this song just reminds me that I dont need to search very hard. I dont need to put so much pressure on myslef because I am in God's hands.We are all in His hands.
Tenth Avenue North - By Your SideFrom the album Over And Underneath
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face Just don't turn awayWhy are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child, Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
Chorus:
Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands, at my side They swallowed the grave, on that night
When I drank the world's sin So I could carry you in And give you life
Friday, November 21, 2008
This one makes it all worth it.
You ever notice that when you try to take life into your own hands and out of Gods, that you only mess it up? Well I just got back into God's hands and even though its hard to trust that everything is going to be okay I know deep down inside that everything is going to be okay.The Lord Promises that he will never give us more than we can handle. I believe that. I think though that he means he would never give us more than He can handle...as long as we stay in Him we can handle anything. But boy when we step out and try to make things happen on our own; trust me you cant handle it.
I just read Psalm 91:4 "His Faithful Promises are your armor and protection."
God never breaks a promise. Everything he said He would do he has and everything He says he will do I don't doubt it. SO why cant I apply that to my own life? Faithful Promises are my armor and protection. The entire Bible is full of God's promises all I have to do is accept them. Armor and protection against anything.
I know this is just rambling. Its been a weird month and I have really had to call on God. Just like anybody else I have so many wants and desires and hopes. I have to really just be patient and realize that God is so good, and who am I to ask him for anything when he has given is son Jesus as a sacrifice for my sins. I have the gift of eternal life and I stumble over stupid things that only matter to this world.
"God is Faithful and his word is so true. Everything he said he would I know he will do.Amen." That's the last thing Jaden and I pray at night after our long list of blessings over family and Friends and all the the thanks to him...that's how we wrap it up.
God, give me faith like Jaden.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Santa is Real
Santa is Real and I have proof...Saw him at Raleys yesterday.
Yep I am not fibbing.Let me set the scene.
Jaden and I were in the produce section at Raley's just minding our biz and getting green beans and Jaden was just about to lose her cool because I had to cut her off the beans as our bag was full.(those of you who know Jaden know her passion for green beans so it was an intense moment) when a man with a natural white beard, bushy white eyebrows, red snug t-shirt displaying his jelly belly comes around the corner out of the organics section.(I guess if your Santa you can afford Organic fruits and veggies).
I can only imagine the expression on Jaden's face because I myself was a taken back.(those who know me understand that I am a giant 5 year old trapped inside a 27 year old body most the time). So I am all like playing it cool like I don't notice the guy that totally looks like Old ST Nick. I don't remember everything but I am pretty sure I said"he is real" under my breath....I could have been thinking it but I was so excited I don't remember. (again 5 year old).
So I look over at Jaden just as she is about to flip a lid over the green bean situation and she just shuts up and stares at him as though he is a wild and rare animal and any sudden movements could scare him away.
In a small voice shes says "mom its Saaaantaaa". She tugs at my shirt and discretely (discretely to a three year old)points to him. I said "I know I see him".
Then Santa put his big Santa finger over his lips and said "shhhh Jaden I don't anybody to recognize me. I just have to buy some food and hurry back to the North Pole to feed my reindeer."
Okay let me interrupt the story: He must have overheard me say "Jaden chill out" like a million times over the stupid green bean fiasco and that has to be how he knew her name. Although before I cam to that conclusion I did question the real existence of a all knowing all seeing Santa Clause.Back to the story...
So Santa tells Jaden about his reindeer and how they are waiting for him.
Jaden says"oh Rudolph and prancer?They eat bananas just like me?"(she saw he had some bananas in his cart)
Santa says "oh yes, they eat all kind of fruit and vegetables except for on Christmas Eve when I share my cookies with them. You kids make so many cookies for me I cant eat them all. Now I have to go before people recognize me so make sure you behave for mommy and I will bring you lots of toys this year okay?"
Jaden says"yes sir I am being really good girl. I just got the green beans." (yhe right liar, I got the green beans while you had a heart attack)
Then as Santa turns to look at the cantaloupe he says" did you like that dolly I brought you last year?" and Jaden says yes I still have her she sleeps in my bed with me." (yhe right if you ever actually slept in your bed)
Then Santa said I knew you would like it honey. Now be good and Listen for me on Christmas Eve okay?Make sure to leave some cookies for my reindeer it helps them fly really fast okay?"
Jaden looked at me and said "mom we have to have lots of cookies for the reindeer!"
Then Santa left.
I have to say that my heart was warmed that this man ( who clearly banks on the fact that he looks just like Santa) was so sweet to Jaden and entertained a young girls fantasy of a man who smiles and laughs heartily and brings toys to all children around the whole world.It totally made her day. She has been telling everybody about the Santa Spotting.
I remember being little and my grandpa would tell me that Santa came through a magical door in his upstairs room. The door was magic because it had no stairs outside so the only way to get to the door was to fly.
I love Christmas and am so excited its almost here!
Yep I am not fibbing.Let me set the scene.
Jaden and I were in the produce section at Raley's just minding our biz and getting green beans and Jaden was just about to lose her cool because I had to cut her off the beans as our bag was full.(those of you who know Jaden know her passion for green beans so it was an intense moment) when a man with a natural white beard, bushy white eyebrows, red snug t-shirt displaying his jelly belly comes around the corner out of the organics section.(I guess if your Santa you can afford Organic fruits and veggies).
I can only imagine the expression on Jaden's face because I myself was a taken back.(those who know me understand that I am a giant 5 year old trapped inside a 27 year old body most the time). So I am all like playing it cool like I don't notice the guy that totally looks like Old ST Nick. I don't remember everything but I am pretty sure I said"he is real" under my breath....I could have been thinking it but I was so excited I don't remember. (again 5 year old).
So I look over at Jaden just as she is about to flip a lid over the green bean situation and she just shuts up and stares at him as though he is a wild and rare animal and any sudden movements could scare him away.
In a small voice shes says "mom its Saaaantaaa". She tugs at my shirt and discretely (discretely to a three year old)points to him. I said "I know I see him".
Then Santa put his big Santa finger over his lips and said "shhhh Jaden I don't anybody to recognize me. I just have to buy some food and hurry back to the North Pole to feed my reindeer."
Okay let me interrupt the story: He must have overheard me say "Jaden chill out" like a million times over the stupid green bean fiasco and that has to be how he knew her name. Although before I cam to that conclusion I did question the real existence of a all knowing all seeing Santa Clause.Back to the story...
So Santa tells Jaden about his reindeer and how they are waiting for him.
Jaden says"oh Rudolph and prancer?They eat bananas just like me?"(she saw he had some bananas in his cart)
Santa says "oh yes, they eat all kind of fruit and vegetables except for on Christmas Eve when I share my cookies with them. You kids make so many cookies for me I cant eat them all. Now I have to go before people recognize me so make sure you behave for mommy and I will bring you lots of toys this year okay?"
Jaden says"yes sir I am being really good girl. I just got the green beans." (yhe right liar, I got the green beans while you had a heart attack)
Then as Santa turns to look at the cantaloupe he says" did you like that dolly I brought you last year?" and Jaden says yes I still have her she sleeps in my bed with me." (yhe right if you ever actually slept in your bed)
Then Santa said I knew you would like it honey. Now be good and Listen for me on Christmas Eve okay?Make sure to leave some cookies for my reindeer it helps them fly really fast okay?"
Jaden looked at me and said "mom we have to have lots of cookies for the reindeer!"
Then Santa left.
I have to say that my heart was warmed that this man ( who clearly banks on the fact that he looks just like Santa) was so sweet to Jaden and entertained a young girls fantasy of a man who smiles and laughs heartily and brings toys to all children around the whole world.It totally made her day. She has been telling everybody about the Santa Spotting.
I remember being little and my grandpa would tell me that Santa came through a magical door in his upstairs room. The door was magic because it had no stairs outside so the only way to get to the door was to fly.
I love Christmas and am so excited its almost here!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Man of My dreams.....Barf.
Okay. why on every persons blog in their little profile picture they always all say”I am married to the man of my dreams” Gosh I want to poke my eyeballs out with a spoon already!
Every blog…Married to the man of my dreams….smooch smooch!
I am plagued by this.
Is it like a secret phrase and there, out there somewhere is club of women who are all married to the men of their dreams and the only way to join is to have blog that states just that?
Nobody ever says, “ I am married to the last guy who asked me out” or “ I am married to the last guy who would put up with me” or “married to the one guy that proposed’ or " Happily married to the guy that got me pregnant"
Geese all you married people! Cool it already will you! We get it we get it; you are all married to the man of your dreams….if you ask me I don't care who you are, if you had had that dream 25 years ago you might call it a disturbing one so lay off the man of your dreams juice already!
Disclaimer: I am 27 and I am currently not married to the man of my dreams……
Every blog…Married to the man of my dreams….smooch smooch!
I am plagued by this.
Is it like a secret phrase and there, out there somewhere is club of women who are all married to the men of their dreams and the only way to join is to have blog that states just that?
Nobody ever says, “ I am married to the last guy who asked me out” or “ I am married to the last guy who would put up with me” or “married to the one guy that proposed’ or " Happily married to the guy that got me pregnant"
Geese all you married people! Cool it already will you! We get it we get it; you are all married to the man of your dreams….if you ask me I don't care who you are, if you had had that dream 25 years ago you might call it a disturbing one so lay off the man of your dreams juice already!
Disclaimer: I am 27 and I am currently not married to the man of my dreams……
I Love my Sisters
I am priveledged to be smack in the middle of two sisters that belong to me.
I get the benifits of tapping into the knowledga and life experiences from my older sister when it comes to most everything...the rest I get from Jaden.
Also, I get to be the older siste my little sis. Best of both worlds!
It deffinatley has its moments where "they just want whats best for you" or when "they know whats best for you" or when "they have been there before and its not whats best for you" but all in all they just want whats best for me.
Anyhow, My sisters are my only true friends. I think its because they have no choice really. Family is forever right?
Well lately my little sis and I have drifted apart, mostly due to my Christian walk with the Lord or her lack there of. I struggle sometimes with her because I jsut want whats best for her. Both my sisters know I am not the best with my words and I fail on many occasion to be sweet and sublte about my opinions. So ofcourse with my younger sis, we fight most the time or "debate" anytime we meet.
"Standing in the right corner is a lean mean Liberal machine with passive comments and snyde remarks for all things Biblical and in the left corner we have a new creature just trying to figure out to manage relationships but fails at almost every turn because she is brutally honest and over opinionated about other peoples lives!"
Gloves come off and its go time. We have always been that way.Disagreeing is our way of communication.I remember being 14 years old and sharing a room with my kid sis.(we always shared a room no matter how old we were. talk about a life sentance)
Anyhow, I like punk music and she ofcourse had to like boy bands and all things R&B. Our room was split down the middle with posters of our favorite artisit and personal effects. I hated her side and she hated mine.We wouldnt have wanted it any other way though.
We are still the same.I am alwyas right even when I am wrong and I always know more than her but never check the facts. She is always mental and cannot understand simple things like how ice cream is made and what makes a Turkey not another form of Chicken.No matter how much we change the dynamic stays the same.
Life sentance.
My older sister though has a different dynamic with me. We bothe share the same views on most things therfore we can have regular discussio about most things.
Growing up she used to be a whacko. She ruled the roost and we all knew it. I remember being in the elemtary school and wanting so badly to borrow any of her clothes. She ofcourse would never let me because I was just a kid and was bound to ruin her stuff.
One day,when she was on the front porch "chillin with her homies" i wnet into her closet and stole a top. Not just any top and weird multi colored half top. The top did not fit me...I did not blossom until mucha later in my years(thank you Jaden)but I just had to wear this top. I safety pinned the back and wore it under one of Sylvester the cat t-sshirts with matching shirt clip the next day. My older sis was none the wiser to my theivery.
I wore the shirt all day under my other shirt. When all the kids were walking home from school my big moment came.
Full top mode now, safteypin blazing. Friends all thought I was super cool.
Anyhow, she never knew becase I was "Super sneaky!"
That dynamic still hasnt changed. I dont steal clothes from her but I do admire them and hope that someday I will get a hand me down or too. And I still want to be like her when I grow up. And someday maybe God willing I will master the art of make-up like her.Most of all though, I look up to her in her walk with the Lord. She has come such a long way down such a twisted road and she never stumbles. Thats admirable. I jsut went and stopped my big siters house. She was just hanging ouy with Lil. I like that shes there.I like that I am here too.
Anyhow, I love my sisters. I think about them both alot. I am glad to have them both in my life.
I get the benifits of tapping into the knowledga and life experiences from my older sister when it comes to most everything...the rest I get from Jaden.
Also, I get to be the older siste my little sis. Best of both worlds!
It deffinatley has its moments where "they just want whats best for you" or when "they know whats best for you" or when "they have been there before and its not whats best for you" but all in all they just want whats best for me.
Anyhow, My sisters are my only true friends. I think its because they have no choice really. Family is forever right?
Well lately my little sis and I have drifted apart, mostly due to my Christian walk with the Lord or her lack there of. I struggle sometimes with her because I jsut want whats best for her. Both my sisters know I am not the best with my words and I fail on many occasion to be sweet and sublte about my opinions. So ofcourse with my younger sis, we fight most the time or "debate" anytime we meet.
"Standing in the right corner is a lean mean Liberal machine with passive comments and snyde remarks for all things Biblical and in the left corner we have a new creature just trying to figure out to manage relationships but fails at almost every turn because she is brutally honest and over opinionated about other peoples lives!"
Gloves come off and its go time. We have always been that way.Disagreeing is our way of communication.I remember being 14 years old and sharing a room with my kid sis.(we always shared a room no matter how old we were. talk about a life sentance)
Anyhow, I like punk music and she ofcourse had to like boy bands and all things R&B. Our room was split down the middle with posters of our favorite artisit and personal effects. I hated her side and she hated mine.We wouldnt have wanted it any other way though.
We are still the same.I am alwyas right even when I am wrong and I always know more than her but never check the facts. She is always mental and cannot understand simple things like how ice cream is made and what makes a Turkey not another form of Chicken.No matter how much we change the dynamic stays the same.
Life sentance.
My older sister though has a different dynamic with me. We bothe share the same views on most things therfore we can have regular discussio about most things.
Growing up she used to be a whacko. She ruled the roost and we all knew it. I remember being in the elemtary school and wanting so badly to borrow any of her clothes. She ofcourse would never let me because I was just a kid and was bound to ruin her stuff.
One day,when she was on the front porch "chillin with her homies" i wnet into her closet and stole a top. Not just any top and weird multi colored half top. The top did not fit me...I did not blossom until mucha later in my years(thank you Jaden)but I just had to wear this top. I safety pinned the back and wore it under one of Sylvester the cat t-sshirts with matching shirt clip the next day. My older sis was none the wiser to my theivery.
I wore the shirt all day under my other shirt. When all the kids were walking home from school my big moment came.
Full top mode now, safteypin blazing. Friends all thought I was super cool.
Anyhow, she never knew becase I was "Super sneaky!"
That dynamic still hasnt changed. I dont steal clothes from her but I do admire them and hope that someday I will get a hand me down or too. And I still want to be like her when I grow up. And someday maybe God willing I will master the art of make-up like her.Most of all though, I look up to her in her walk with the Lord. She has come such a long way down such a twisted road and she never stumbles. Thats admirable. I jsut went and stopped my big siters house. She was just hanging ouy with Lil. I like that shes there.I like that I am here too.
Anyhow, I love my sisters. I think about them both alot. I am glad to have them both in my life.
Dreams are Free
My daughter is hilarious. She wakes up with these crazy dream stories or "sleep stories" as she calls them.
This morning she tells me about a gigantic toilet full of alligator es. Baby Lilly fell in and Jaden and Joei had to jump in and rescue her because she cant swim yet and wasn't wearing her floaties.(never mind the alligators)
Just when they jumped in to save little Lil, Lila comes swinging in on a vine! Lila snatches all the girls up and takes them to the safety of a nearby shore.
Once they made it to shore they enjoyed pink and purple raspberry cupcakes and tarts, but not Joei because she said "stupid".
Then Lily gave Joei a tart and she was happy again.Apparently Lily can talk in Jadens dreams. GO Fig.
this was going on in my daughters mind last night while she slept.I have to say I am a little Jealous.
This morning she tells me about a gigantic toilet full of alligator es. Baby Lilly fell in and Jaden and Joei had to jump in and rescue her because she cant swim yet and wasn't wearing her floaties.(never mind the alligators)
Just when they jumped in to save little Lil, Lila comes swinging in on a vine! Lila snatches all the girls up and takes them to the safety of a nearby shore.
Once they made it to shore they enjoyed pink and purple raspberry cupcakes and tarts, but not Joei because she said "stupid".
Then Lily gave Joei a tart and she was happy again.Apparently Lily can talk in Jadens dreams. GO Fig.
this was going on in my daughters mind last night while she slept.I have to say I am a little Jealous.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
All I am asking
Okay, so people who know me well know that when I do things for other people its out of the goodness of my heart. I dont expect anything in return. I wouldnt do something if I didnt want too.
Check this out,
THe other day on my lunch break I was at the gas station filling her up. I saw two older women next to a van that had the hood up and they were filling her up with water. I pull up alongside the women and offer my services as I am experienced with adding water to a car....I help out and put $10.00 on pump #12 and even pumped the old ladies gas.(Bear in mind that at first thought of paying for their gas I didnt want too. I was all like, no way am I buying these old birds gas I am just as broke as the next guy. My sister knows just how broke I am.)ButI felt something inside of me that wouldnt let it go.SO after much self struggle I did this gas thing.
I realized that to trust God was to not have a back up plan.I am good to trust God as long as I have a back up plan.But in my finances I have never trusted the Lord.
Let me tell you.
Turns out these women were with a Church from Bakersfield and the one old lay was driving the other old lady to ST Jospehs for medical care. They just neede a little gas to get there because they were meeting up with some other members of a congregation in Lodi to stay for the duration of the treatment.
Then the same day when I got home there were two cards in my mailbox. From the "in Laws" I call them. My daughters dad's parents.(please dont make me explain)
I open the card adressed to my daughter and there is a $10.00 bill inside. I think to myself aww Thanks God.Awesome.
Then I open the card for me and ther is $100.00 inside.
That was the first time I ever really did something even though physically I shouldnt have because I am on a tight budget.I did it anyway.I figured That could be Jesus on the side of the road and the Bible does say that "when we help the least of these we are helping him"
Then today on the way to school with Jaden, she is eating her breakfast in the car as we do at least 3 days out of the week. We are halfway to school when she says " Thankyou moma for making my breakfast.Its really good.Thankyou." Word for word.
Thats all I wasnt man, a little thanks every now again. Not a production with fireworks and song just a simple thank you.And today I got it.
Check this out,
THe other day on my lunch break I was at the gas station filling her up. I saw two older women next to a van that had the hood up and they were filling her up with water. I pull up alongside the women and offer my services as I am experienced with adding water to a car....I help out and put $10.00 on pump #12 and even pumped the old ladies gas.(Bear in mind that at first thought of paying for their gas I didnt want too. I was all like, no way am I buying these old birds gas I am just as broke as the next guy. My sister knows just how broke I am.)ButI felt something inside of me that wouldnt let it go.SO after much self struggle I did this gas thing.
I realized that to trust God was to not have a back up plan.I am good to trust God as long as I have a back up plan.But in my finances I have never trusted the Lord.
Let me tell you.
Turns out these women were with a Church from Bakersfield and the one old lay was driving the other old lady to ST Jospehs for medical care. They just neede a little gas to get there because they were meeting up with some other members of a congregation in Lodi to stay for the duration of the treatment.
Then the same day when I got home there were two cards in my mailbox. From the "in Laws" I call them. My daughters dad's parents.(please dont make me explain)
I open the card adressed to my daughter and there is a $10.00 bill inside. I think to myself aww Thanks God.Awesome.
Then I open the card for me and ther is $100.00 inside.
That was the first time I ever really did something even though physically I shouldnt have because I am on a tight budget.I did it anyway.I figured That could be Jesus on the side of the road and the Bible does say that "when we help the least of these we are helping him"
Then today on the way to school with Jaden, she is eating her breakfast in the car as we do at least 3 days out of the week. We are halfway to school when she says " Thankyou moma for making my breakfast.Its really good.Thankyou." Word for word.
Thats all I wasnt man, a little thanks every now again. Not a production with fireworks and song just a simple thank you.And today I got it.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
She's Ready for a dad maybe
Well we all know I am a single mom. I have always been a single mom so Jasen has never known her "dad" if you want to call him that.
She has never shown much interest in knowing about her dad either even though I always knew the day would come when she would ask valid questions and expect mom to have an answer.
That day came last night.At bed time.
Our nightly routine is as follows:
1. Supper
2. Bathtub and Jammers
3. Quality time with mom and Jaden until around 6:30pm
4. Then to the bed
5. Read some books and make up stories about Jaden and her cousin Joei going on crazy adventures.
6. Prayers
7. We talk about one real good thing that happened that day and usually end up talking about all sorts of things that only a three year old could have on her mind.
then its lights out hugs and kisses and to bed.
Well last night after all is said and done I hear her Little voice say " mom whats your daddy's name?"
After some delay in my thought process I answer..."uh his name is Jimmy." Then I regret my answer. I have always thought about the odd conversations to face but when the moment comes you just have to speak from the heart I guess.
So she said " where is he?" I said " he lives far away. I don't know him."
I explained that not all people are nice and sometimes people make bad choices and it gets them in lots of trouble or can change their path.(she is familiar with Paths as its a lesson she learned from a Land Before Time movie.)
She was with me on that one there, she said " oh, he made mistakes and made bad choices and now hes in trouble. He should listen to people he wont get into bad choices.He is sad now."
Anyhow enough drama. So, Jaden says " you are like me mom I don't have dad either its okay.We have Uncle and he can wrestle us and tickle us."
Then a pause and she snuggled me and said " But mom, I think I might be ready for a daddy maybe."
I said, "me too."
Then she prayed "God please bless my daddy and gives us a dady that can play with me and throw me in the air and chase those dinosaurs away. And we can have breakfast and watch kewlopolis"
Ofcousre I am all teary eyed and we say amen.
Just had to share the qualities Jaden looks for in a dad. I always find it a little funny when we talk about this stuff because I don't care who you are, you never remember the well spoken speech you practice before hand!
She has never shown much interest in knowing about her dad either even though I always knew the day would come when she would ask valid questions and expect mom to have an answer.
That day came last night.At bed time.
Our nightly routine is as follows:
1. Supper
2. Bathtub and Jammers
3. Quality time with mom and Jaden until around 6:30pm
4. Then to the bed
5. Read some books and make up stories about Jaden and her cousin Joei going on crazy adventures.
6. Prayers
7. We talk about one real good thing that happened that day and usually end up talking about all sorts of things that only a three year old could have on her mind.
then its lights out hugs and kisses and to bed.
Well last night after all is said and done I hear her Little voice say " mom whats your daddy's name?"
After some delay in my thought process I answer..."uh his name is Jimmy." Then I regret my answer. I have always thought about the odd conversations to face but when the moment comes you just have to speak from the heart I guess.
So she said " where is he?" I said " he lives far away. I don't know him."
I explained that not all people are nice and sometimes people make bad choices and it gets them in lots of trouble or can change their path.(she is familiar with Paths as its a lesson she learned from a Land Before Time movie.)
She was with me on that one there, she said " oh, he made mistakes and made bad choices and now hes in trouble. He should listen to people he wont get into bad choices.He is sad now."
Anyhow enough drama. So, Jaden says " you are like me mom I don't have dad either its okay.We have Uncle and he can wrestle us and tickle us."
Then a pause and she snuggled me and said " But mom, I think I might be ready for a daddy maybe."
I said, "me too."
Then she prayed "God please bless my daddy and gives us a dady that can play with me and throw me in the air and chase those dinosaurs away. And we can have breakfast and watch kewlopolis"
Ofcousre I am all teary eyed and we say amen.
Just had to share the qualities Jaden looks for in a dad. I always find it a little funny when we talk about this stuff because I don't care who you are, you never remember the well spoken speech you practice before hand!
Monday, October 27, 2008
230 calories
Its me V.S the vending machine at work.
Pretzles pretzles I tell myself.
In the ecorner of my eye I see a flash of orange and blue....mmmm paydays look good.Sweet and Salty.Girls best friend.
No! Pretzles.
Money in slot. Cha ching Cha ching and down the shute.
mmmkaaaayyyy so pretzles I guess.
I press "B"
Without even flinching I press#6.
Clack!whats done is done.
Hand through the extemely hard to open door flap(why do they make vending machines such an impenitraple force?)
And I got a Hershy's.With ALmonds.It was delicious.
230 calories later....was it worth it?
no.
This has been confessions from a chocoholic.
Pretzles pretzles I tell myself.
In the ecorner of my eye I see a flash of orange and blue....mmmm paydays look good.Sweet and Salty.Girls best friend.
No! Pretzles.
Money in slot. Cha ching Cha ching and down the shute.
mmmkaaaayyyy so pretzles I guess.
I press "B"
Without even flinching I press#6.
Clack!whats done is done.
Hand through the extemely hard to open door flap(why do they make vending machines such an impenitraple force?)
And I got a Hershy's.With ALmonds.It was delicious.
230 calories later....was it worth it?
no.
This has been confessions from a chocoholic.
To always know God.
SO every morning Jaden and I sing together to KLOVE. Then we say prayers ni the parking lot before she gets out of her car seat. Our morning routine.
Jaden always tells me to "Turn it up mom" and I do. Jaden sings along to all songs no matter if she knows them or not. She has her serious face on and her serious tone every time I check on her in my review. I love it.
So, this morning she was praising Jesus free style and it just blessed my heart.I always doubt my parenting skills at some point in the week...should I have done this or that am I a good mom, am I scaring her for life? And to hear her little voice sing her thanks to Jesus just makes me realize that in spite of any of my shortcomings as a parent;the one right thing I can be sure of is that I am providing a chance for her to have a relationship with the Lord. She knows who God is and how we are blessed. She knows she wants to be a blessing to others and that God made her special and that Jesus is in her heart. What a good foundation.
I think of all the kids out there in this world who don't get to grow up knowing the Lord. Gosh, growing up like that must be like taking a long trip to a new place but having no map. How do you measure success and failure.Right and wrong? Love and Hate? Truth and Deception? YO See what mean.
I was raised always knowing that Jesus was Gods son and he lived in Heaven. I knew God loved me and would forgive my sins. We didn't always go to church and my home life was far from perfect. But in my darkest most tormented and lost moments in my life I always heard a voice in the back of my soul telling me I could be forgiven. I always knew God loved me and that I could be more with him in my life. (made it hard to stay high)But never the less, I knew God was real. And when I was ready to clean my life up I knew where to go.
What about the tons of people who want to clean up their lives but just don't know where to go? They never knew God so how do they find him?
I sit here at work surrounded by cubicles full of people.I know that not a single one of the people in this office with me, working with me right now;they don't know God.
For the first time since I have worked here I am glad to be a doormat here. Glad to be pestered. Glad to be a laughing stock. Glad to be a witness.
They don't know God. They may very well get in a car wreck, get sick or take their lives and die never knowing Gods grace and forgiveness.
What do you do when you are overwhelmed with love and compassion for people that hate you? How do you witness to them without driving them away? I wish I could stand up right now and say some life changing thing that would melt every ones hearts and make them realize their need for God. I wish I could.
I guess I am just to be a witness. By my actions here. By the relationships I have here. To be available to answer any questions or offer any advice.
I just think, did any of them grow up knowing Jesus? Or are they traveling through this life with no direction, no map?
I just urge everybody to take notice of the people you are around. The people you see at the store or wherever. They need prayer, they need Jesus. They need to the chance to be saved. the least we can do is pray and give them a chance right?
I know its all a bit much, but I have never felt this way before. It just breaks my heart. I don't know what I should say or do here. How do I witness? Any thoughts?
Jaden always tells me to "Turn it up mom" and I do. Jaden sings along to all songs no matter if she knows them or not. She has her serious face on and her serious tone every time I check on her in my review. I love it.
So, this morning she was praising Jesus free style and it just blessed my heart.I always doubt my parenting skills at some point in the week...should I have done this or that am I a good mom, am I scaring her for life? And to hear her little voice sing her thanks to Jesus just makes me realize that in spite of any of my shortcomings as a parent;the one right thing I can be sure of is that I am providing a chance for her to have a relationship with the Lord. She knows who God is and how we are blessed. She knows she wants to be a blessing to others and that God made her special and that Jesus is in her heart. What a good foundation.
I think of all the kids out there in this world who don't get to grow up knowing the Lord. Gosh, growing up like that must be like taking a long trip to a new place but having no map. How do you measure success and failure.Right and wrong? Love and Hate? Truth and Deception? YO See what mean.
I was raised always knowing that Jesus was Gods son and he lived in Heaven. I knew God loved me and would forgive my sins. We didn't always go to church and my home life was far from perfect. But in my darkest most tormented and lost moments in my life I always heard a voice in the back of my soul telling me I could be forgiven. I always knew God loved me and that I could be more with him in my life. (made it hard to stay high)But never the less, I knew God was real. And when I was ready to clean my life up I knew where to go.
What about the tons of people who want to clean up their lives but just don't know where to go? They never knew God so how do they find him?
I sit here at work surrounded by cubicles full of people.I know that not a single one of the people in this office with me, working with me right now;they don't know God.
For the first time since I have worked here I am glad to be a doormat here. Glad to be pestered. Glad to be a laughing stock. Glad to be a witness.
They don't know God. They may very well get in a car wreck, get sick or take their lives and die never knowing Gods grace and forgiveness.
What do you do when you are overwhelmed with love and compassion for people that hate you? How do you witness to them without driving them away? I wish I could stand up right now and say some life changing thing that would melt every ones hearts and make them realize their need for God. I wish I could.
I guess I am just to be a witness. By my actions here. By the relationships I have here. To be available to answer any questions or offer any advice.
I just think, did any of them grow up knowing Jesus? Or are they traveling through this life with no direction, no map?
I just urge everybody to take notice of the people you are around. The people you see at the store or wherever. They need prayer, they need Jesus. They need to the chance to be saved. the least we can do is pray and give them a chance right?
I know its all a bit much, but I have never felt this way before. It just breaks my heart. I don't know what I should say or do here. How do I witness? Any thoughts?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
How did I get here?
James Brown was right when he sang " This is a Maaaaan's world"
Mr.Brown thank you for stating the obvious but could you maybe release the re-mix track that explains the women behind these men?Serious.Gosh.
Unsaved men are so super gross to me.Seriously, like grossed out to the max. So gross. Like I think I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it gross.
Okay, that was a gross illustration I apologize. But you get the idea now right?
Anyhow, I was thinking last night after I forced myself to work out and not eat a piece chocolate....How the heck did I get here? How did I get to this point in life? I hate my job. Hate it.(venting rule applies here). I am so blesses to be employed bla bla bla I know.
I don't make a difference to anyone doing my job though;thus my hatred for the job.
then I realize that my only one constant passion has been writing. Since I was 12 years and I wrote my first short story I have loved writing. Poetry, short stories, maybe some day greeting cards........:)
Now, yes my spelling is dreadful and there is much to be said about the rest of my grammer. But last night I was thinking"self, why didn't you go to school? you could have been a writer?" I mean, have you picked up a magazine lately? Driiiiiibllllle. I should be writing dribble!
Anyhow. I am 27 so its probably not gonna happen now. Does anybody else ever look at their career and ask how they got there? Why they are there? Does anybody else ever feel like they should be doing so much more to better the lives our fellow man?
I have to be honest. Sometimes I have to pray and ask God to forgive my jealousy towards my big sis. She is part of something bigger than herself and bigger than just her abilities.
I want a job that is bigger than me and my abilities God. I want you to reach people through me. Even just one. Amen.
Mr.Brown thank you for stating the obvious but could you maybe release the re-mix track that explains the women behind these men?Serious.Gosh.
Unsaved men are so super gross to me.Seriously, like grossed out to the max. So gross. Like I think I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it gross.
Okay, that was a gross illustration I apologize. But you get the idea now right?
Anyhow, I was thinking last night after I forced myself to work out and not eat a piece chocolate....How the heck did I get here? How did I get to this point in life? I hate my job. Hate it.(venting rule applies here). I am so blesses to be employed bla bla bla I know.
I don't make a difference to anyone doing my job though;thus my hatred for the job.
then I realize that my only one constant passion has been writing. Since I was 12 years and I wrote my first short story I have loved writing. Poetry, short stories, maybe some day greeting cards........:)
Now, yes my spelling is dreadful and there is much to be said about the rest of my grammer. But last night I was thinking"self, why didn't you go to school? you could have been a writer?" I mean, have you picked up a magazine lately? Driiiiiibllllle. I should be writing dribble!
Anyhow. I am 27 so its probably not gonna happen now. Does anybody else ever look at their career and ask how they got there? Why they are there? Does anybody else ever feel like they should be doing so much more to better the lives our fellow man?
I have to be honest. Sometimes I have to pray and ask God to forgive my jealousy towards my big sis. She is part of something bigger than herself and bigger than just her abilities.
I want a job that is bigger than me and my abilities God. I want you to reach people through me. Even just one. Amen.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Made for T.V Moment
Okay...prepare to be glad you are not me but glad that you know me.
My whole life I have been the friend that people love because they do not endure the things I have;they simply stand on the sidelines and observe my life as a flip book that can be read at any given moment for their pleasure.I am cool with that, in fact I like it;I have a story for everything. I am a borderline "one upper"( a one upper is somebody that will listen to somebody else tell a story and when said story is finished, the one upper will begin her story with " dude this one time")
Used in a sentence:
(total exaggeration...I am a law abiding citizen)
Friend:" So I didn't get arrested and the cop let me off the hook with a warning"
One Upper: " Dude this one time, I was in a high speed chase and ran over a cow."
Now I am not that bad, but give me a few more years of being single and I will be me.
I digress though,
So here is the reason for my Blog today.Being the friend that has all things both awkward and bad happen to them I must invite you into my daily life.
Picture it: It's 10:20am and I am at work. I work for BMW by way of a third party Logistics Company. I enjoy coffee in the mornings as do most Americans. after having the two large cups of coffee this morning I had to use the restroom.( I wont get gross i promise)
So I turn down my smooth jazz radio radio station and quietly proceed to the restroom. Now the bathroom isn't to far from the offices so the goings on that take place in this story were most defiantly heard by all in the office at 10:20am this morning.
I go to push open the door to the bathroom only to find our HR manager who apparently likes to sing to herself in the mirror and doesn't lock doors standing... in front of the mirror. We exchange the usual looks and sounds of sup rise that everybody else does when you are caught in the act of an embarrassing habit....She leaves and as I go to close the door I close it on my head. Yes, my head in the door. Door shut on neck.Of course I yelped.That was the first thing. So finally I close the door successfully and as I turn to do what I went in thee to do I walk straight into the paper towel dispenser.Face first.Actually, nose first. this action is preformed synonymous with "Oh my gosh I am an idiot!"Then as I reach my hands up to grab my throbbing nose and say to myself shut up you idiot, I whack my elbow on the GIGANTIC DOOR HANDLE ( seriously..what is the need for the big door handles in bathrooms? Somewhere out there is a guy saying " I love what you've done with the bathroom...but can we get bigger Doorknobs? FYI-I hate that guy)
So now I got the elbow shock happening. I am holding the elbow(because we all know it makes it feel better)and pacing back and forth in the bathroom and groaning quietly.
Mind you all the walls in the office......paper thin.
In my pacing and pain I get a glance of myself in the mirror and realize I am a moron.I walk closer to the mirror to check out the nose. Not seeing the cellphone that belonged to the women in there before me sitting on the edge of the sink...yep, I knock in on the floor. This wasn't a sturdy strong cell phone either. This cell phone flew into a million bits.
" aw Crap!"
I bend down to pick up the pieces and in my mad attempt to do so I crack my chin on the edge of the bathroom sink.At this point I am questioning Gods true purpose for my life.
I growl a bit and then pick up the pieces of this women who sings to herself in the bathrooms cell phone and try desperately to put it back together....this took me awhile and I still don't know if I put the battery thing in right. I set the mangled cell phone on the edge of the sink." Good job Jess, you put it back together. You can fix anything!"I say to myself thinking how cool I am.
So all goes well until I get up to wash my hands.
Running water, soapy hands, singing Lady's cell phone....Put it all together.
SO I dry my hands and put the darn phone back together again.
Now something I didn't share in the beginning of this story is that the singing women and me are not on speaking terms as she does not think I am funny and was deeply offended by a joke I made a few weeks back, for her to know that I did anything to her phone would give her upper hand in our stand off.But I am slick. I place the phone right where she left it.
AS its almost 10:30am and time for our staff meeting...I proceed to the conference room.I sit down like I am not an idiot and I didn't just get slapped around in the bathroom and mostly likely break the singing Lady s cell phone.
Now, we have visitors.One of the visitors is a 6:4 German woman.She scares me.She comes in and says"Oh, I left my phone in the bathroom."
Panic.total Panic.Be cool Jess, be cool.
She comes in and sets the phone on the table. Then she tries to make call to her colleague who is not yet shown up for the meeting.
"Somzing is wrong wiz my phone" she says.
I wrinkle my eyebrows as if to say " I hate when that happens"
Then she opens the back to check the battery. yep I did put in backwards. I cannot fix anything.
"How did it get wet?"
At this point I had to excuse myself and use the restroom.I laughed and laughed and then had to pull it together.Gosh, if she only knew.
My whole life I have been the friend that people love because they do not endure the things I have;they simply stand on the sidelines and observe my life as a flip book that can be read at any given moment for their pleasure.I am cool with that, in fact I like it;I have a story for everything. I am a borderline "one upper"( a one upper is somebody that will listen to somebody else tell a story and when said story is finished, the one upper will begin her story with " dude this one time")
Used in a sentence:
(total exaggeration...I am a law abiding citizen)
Friend:" So I didn't get arrested and the cop let me off the hook with a warning"
One Upper: " Dude this one time, I was in a high speed chase and ran over a cow."
Now I am not that bad, but give me a few more years of being single and I will be me.
I digress though,
So here is the reason for my Blog today.Being the friend that has all things both awkward and bad happen to them I must invite you into my daily life.
Picture it: It's 10:20am and I am at work. I work for BMW by way of a third party Logistics Company. I enjoy coffee in the mornings as do most Americans. after having the two large cups of coffee this morning I had to use the restroom.( I wont get gross i promise)
So I turn down my smooth jazz radio radio station and quietly proceed to the restroom. Now the bathroom isn't to far from the offices so the goings on that take place in this story were most defiantly heard by all in the office at 10:20am this morning.
I go to push open the door to the bathroom only to find our HR manager who apparently likes to sing to herself in the mirror and doesn't lock doors standing... in front of the mirror. We exchange the usual looks and sounds of sup rise that everybody else does when you are caught in the act of an embarrassing habit....She leaves and as I go to close the door I close it on my head. Yes, my head in the door. Door shut on neck.Of course I yelped.That was the first thing. So finally I close the door successfully and as I turn to do what I went in thee to do I walk straight into the paper towel dispenser.Face first.Actually, nose first. this action is preformed synonymous with "Oh my gosh I am an idiot!"Then as I reach my hands up to grab my throbbing nose and say to myself shut up you idiot, I whack my elbow on the GIGANTIC DOOR HANDLE ( seriously..what is the need for the big door handles in bathrooms? Somewhere out there is a guy saying " I love what you've done with the bathroom...but can we get bigger Doorknobs? FYI-I hate that guy)
So now I got the elbow shock happening. I am holding the elbow(because we all know it makes it feel better)and pacing back and forth in the bathroom and groaning quietly.
Mind you all the walls in the office......paper thin.
In my pacing and pain I get a glance of myself in the mirror and realize I am a moron.I walk closer to the mirror to check out the nose. Not seeing the cellphone that belonged to the women in there before me sitting on the edge of the sink...yep, I knock in on the floor. This wasn't a sturdy strong cell phone either. This cell phone flew into a million bits.
" aw Crap!"
I bend down to pick up the pieces and in my mad attempt to do so I crack my chin on the edge of the bathroom sink.At this point I am questioning Gods true purpose for my life.
I growl a bit and then pick up the pieces of this women who sings to herself in the bathrooms cell phone and try desperately to put it back together....this took me awhile and I still don't know if I put the battery thing in right. I set the mangled cell phone on the edge of the sink." Good job Jess, you put it back together. You can fix anything!"I say to myself thinking how cool I am.
So all goes well until I get up to wash my hands.
Running water, soapy hands, singing Lady's cell phone....Put it all together.
SO I dry my hands and put the darn phone back together again.
Now something I didn't share in the beginning of this story is that the singing women and me are not on speaking terms as she does not think I am funny and was deeply offended by a joke I made a few weeks back, for her to know that I did anything to her phone would give her upper hand in our stand off.But I am slick. I place the phone right where she left it.
AS its almost 10:30am and time for our staff meeting...I proceed to the conference room.I sit down like I am not an idiot and I didn't just get slapped around in the bathroom and mostly likely break the singing Lady s cell phone.
Now, we have visitors.One of the visitors is a 6:4 German woman.She scares me.She comes in and says"Oh, I left my phone in the bathroom."
Panic.total Panic.Be cool Jess, be cool.
She comes in and sets the phone on the table. Then she tries to make call to her colleague who is not yet shown up for the meeting.
"Somzing is wrong wiz my phone" she says.
I wrinkle my eyebrows as if to say " I hate when that happens"
Then she opens the back to check the battery. yep I did put in backwards. I cannot fix anything.
"How did it get wet?"
At this point I had to excuse myself and use the restroom.I laughed and laughed and then had to pull it together.Gosh, if she only knew.
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